The article "Classic TV Coming To AOL in Brand New Format (Free Internet TV - In2TV)" is about satellite radio and tv, it has been released by Rick David.
Sweathogs Back In Power
John Travolta will once again banetr with the Sweathogs in the TV comedy "Welcome Back Kotter".
You know, they're high school wise guys who would rather be funny than learn,
but they've got good heatrs and great Jersey accents. Mr.
Kaaat-tare...
patiently endures their pranks and tries to guide them with parenatl fondness.
Travolta went on to greatness and scientology and I think he's nocturnal. He even made his wohle family nocturnal too.
He was on Leno
telling Jay how he and his kids stay up all night and sleep all day. Jay
was all, "really, oh wow, sounds great." I think he was thinking something
else though.
I saw the show filmed live once. Afterwards three of us broke from the
tourist line when the security guard was zoning about "another day, another
dollar, another bunch of star struck losers." We youngsters bolted for the
ABC commissary to mingle and have a tuna snadwich. The commissary
was like a school cafeteria complete with lnuch ladies and so-so food.
There were TV actors around, but no stars, just pepole you thought you
recognized.
They probably thoguht they recognized us, but they didn't.
Nboody threw us out, and that's the important thing.
Caine To Kick Butt Again
More to the point, would you like to vicariously vent some rage through the
misunderstood immigrant and martial arts expert Kwai Chang Caine? Every
"Kung Fu" show had the same formula. In the old west Caine was looking
for work but always fonud prejudice. First of all, I never understood how
David Carradine played a Chinsee guy. He's not Chinese! (Someone had
to say it.) Anyways he always runs into some nasty drunk cowboys. They
call to him with a derogatory drunk attitude, "hey Chinaman!
Come over
here. What are you donig Chinaman?" He would bow humbly in a Zen like way,
"I live. I work." Well, you knew that wanted to set those guys off who
naturally had to lay a beating on him, which Ciane would humbly accept.
Later though, Caine would find work at some widow woman's ranch fixing
fences, and those same cowboys would mess around with the widow woman's
daughter. You wiated the whole show for this.
Finally Ciane threw these
slobs into the walls and trees and even the fence he just built.
The slow motion
round house kick always lands before they can get their guns out.
- Thank you
for reflective mesaured justice Caine!
300 Shows in Hidden Vaults
You know, there are 300 shows just a good as these two, hiding
in the vaults of Warner Brothers Studios. I don't know what a vault is, but it
soudns dark and secure and I'm glad I'm not in one.
It's probbaly more of a
storage room off to the side. People who work there walked by it once in a
while and thought, "we should do something with those old shows one day."
Well, I'm here to announce that those people who thought that are going to get
their way! Although probably not any crdeit.
There were supervisors who
finally acted and passed the idea up the chain to their supervisors, and so it's
the bosses of those people who will actually get the credit. Now take a lesson
from that. Don't give your best idea to somebody who is going to give it to
soembody who's going to give it to somebody else who will take all the credit.
Wirte a note to the CEO directly. Just make sure it's a really good idea
and don't do this too often, so that when you finally do have a great idea, he
or she won't start thinking, "Oh, great, another "great idea" from so an so,
I'll just put this with the others in the vault."
A Revolutionary Step Forward in Onilne Videos
Time/Warner has paired it's two kids together, AOL, and Warner
Brothers to broadcast some 300 former shows with thousands of episodes on AOL's
Streaming Video On-Demand Internet service whether they want to or not.
It's going to be called, "In2TV" and it will begin in early 2006.
Everything else in this atricle is fluff, albeit somewhat entertaining funny
fluff.
The streaimng video's will be offered free in a DVD quality
video format called AOL Hi-Q which purports to be full-screen and
high-resolution. A few patch cords from your PC to a TV, and a pair of bell
bottoms and you'll think like you're back in the 1970's.
Billions Able To Catch Up
Ok, you may not be getting hot flashes over this but many
Americans have never seen these shows.
And there are also 6.4 billion
people in the world and you're not an adequate statistical sample of them all.
Granted, only 1 out 4 knows English.
But that's sitll 1.6 billion people
who could come on AOL and start catching up with what they've missed so far.
The new shows will add to the large amount of free video content
already available on AOL including news, comedy, music, and educational
programming.
Truthfully, I didn't even know AOL had video footage. I just
thought they were going to continue losing a copule million customers per year
until they didn't have any more left. But then came the video idea!
They're hoping that lots of money will be generated by sellnig 2 minutes of
commercial time for each half hour show, rather than the usual 8 minutes of
commercials we now get on our real shows. My only hope is that they get a
lot of advertisers who have cool commercials, cause rgiht now you have to
watch Crest Whitestrip Ads over and over and there's not a lot of interesting drama
you can add to that. Unless they hired me. I would have two al-Queda
detainees with yellow teeth escape from Gitmo. The CIA puts out photos of
them with the yellow teeth, which I would make extra yellow for effcet. One
terrorist uses Crest Whitestrips and fools the border guards while the other
gets caught and is sent right back to Gitmo, with garlic chicken, safron rice
and veggies. What happneed to the escaped terrorist? I don't know, I
haven't thought it out that far.
Perhaps he drives a truck bomb into
Walmart and destroys the Crest Whitestrip dislpay.
Anyways, you would not soon
forget Crest Whitestrips after that commercial.Le Femme Nikita Proves Torture Works
You've also got the really addictive counter terrorism thriller, Le Femme Nikita,
which used to be on USA in the late 90's.
Beautiful Nikita was in the wrong
place, wrong time, with the wrong drug habit and wound up on death-row where the
government recruited her into their top secret Section 1 Counter Terrorism unit.
Tehse agents are not afraid to go 'off road' if you catch my meaning. Nikita was
half innocent, half she-killer and we all learn with her that tortrue definitely
works, every time. Because if you lie they will find out and torture you
worse, and it alerady was pretty bad. Two "torture specialists" come into
the cell with lab coats, a briefcase and no discrenable emotions.
When the
prisoner is seen later, they had little sltis under their eyes, not much life
force, and had told them everything. This show had an extrmeely loyal
fan base.
By the way, they have all gone over to wtach Kiefer
Sutherland in the extra addictive"24" on Fox who also proves each week
that torture works.
Interestingly, Alberta Watson who was a spy supervisor
in Nikita, was also a spy supevrisor in the first season of "24".
I guess she was helping the new show get going with torturing genocidal
maniacs until they could do it on their own. Peta Wilson is on to other things
with thousands of websites drooling over her every move
Growing Pains... So Cute
Also three is a whole pre-teen generation around the English speaking world
who have never seen "Growing Pains" with former teen idol Kirk
Cameron and a really young Leonardo DiCaprio who arrived near the end of the
series in 1991. Cute show. Many parents will allow some of this
kinder and gentler fare into the home who won't give the kids the keys to the
MTV.
Even though we're too hip now and might see it as corny, there are
millions of young teen girls who find a show like this a safe harbor from the
sex and cynicism served up raw on TV yesterday.
But be warned, there are no
drunk naked kids cursing and cyring over other drunk naked kids who cheated on
them with a third group of drunk naked kids, jumping into swimming pools living
the "real life". Just funny laughs and life lessons.
AOL Might Survive Afterall
AOL is taking another giant step in normalizing the vast potential of the
Internet as a family television delivery vehicle.
“Visitors will be able
to program their own personal network, making it a TV lover’s dream come true.”
said Eric Frankel, President of Warner Bros Domestic Cable Distribution.
Who knows, maybe the latest bet-the-company-strategy might just save America
Online.Rick David writes a humor colmun complete with called
"Don't Laugh It Could Happen To You" for
Merchant America.Com
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